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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Finally, I close up shop. I’m exhausted but happy. I head over to my sister’s place on Rua do Comércio. The kids are wild, running around like they’re on a sugar high. I walk in, and they scream, “Uncle!” It’s chaos, but it’s good chaos.

Earthquake felt in Algarve – schools evacuated